Here it is!!

Script ver 2.0
Here is our second crack at a first issue....well, at least the script.

2.0 Finally Finished!

We've finally finished the script for Issue 1 2.0. The moment I find out how to upload it without having to type the whole thing into a blog entry, I will post it. The game plan is to have our thumbnails finished in a month, then we start drawing, inking and painting. We hope to have the issue ready for lettering by the end of the year.

While this far exceeds the traditional monthly deadlines, I would rather us take forever to produce a great story. I'm trying to keep in mind that we are both in school and to create something of this magnitude (a completely in-house 30+ page color comic) takes time, but damnit if I don't wish everything was finished now!

For this issue, we really don't much of a strict deadline. We can submit our comic to publishers whenever we are ready and the only convention we have strong intentions of attending (HeroesCon) doesn't happen until next year. With that in mind, our game plan is to send out the new issue and hopefully get some feedback. We'll also self-publish through comixpress. This year--that is to say August 2010-June 2011--I hope we can have at least three issues printed. We have a lot of work ahead of us, but I'm sure we can do it.

Issue 1 2.0 Outline

Issue 1

-True origins?

-Entire issue devoted to one character's life? Six issues and then the real story?

-Same story arc, but each issue begins with a "mini" origin issue?

No. We cannot take seven issues exclusively for character development, nor should the origins break the flow of the story; that's what profiles are for.

-Where to begin?

-Don't gloss over Kareem's story. Make his development visible. The Dockery family doesn't have to be the center of his story, instead, focus on his therapy sessions.

-Character introduction?

-Many of the older comics I read had a way of blatantly explaining a hero's origin and abilities. Through a long-winded inner-monologue or a stiff conversation, the character's entire being was packaged in a few sentences. It doesn't seem real. Even I fell into that habit. In the first issue, I reveal my character's problems in such an artificial manner (see the argument between Alan and Julie). But I do like the idea of therapy sessions being the window through which we see our characters. All of them? Do we have enough space to see all six individual therapy sessions?

-In many ways, the first issue of a comic is like the pilot episode of a television show. We need to show the goods, therefore, we cannot give our audience filler or an episode without action. In a twist of fate, however, we cannot give EVERYTHING away in the first issue (something I think we might have done) With that said...

-Issue one opens with individual therapy sessions. We begin with Deveroux getting ready for another therapy session. We take a peek at all six sessions whose panels piece together to form one fairly coherent conversation while maintaining a sense of six significantly different characters. During the jigsaw conversation, we introduce the characters, their problems and their distinctive persona lites. The last therapy session we "watch" is Kareem's. His session is longer than the others? Should we place emphasis on him right from the start?

No. Evenly develop all six characters, only revealing Kareem's discomfort in later issues. That means eliminating much, if not all, of Kareem's inner-monologue and focusing on dialogue to tell the story.

-What I'm getting at is I think our story should begin with how the Ward is formed. The following issues will be various missions on which the doctor sends the six. After a number of these "do and don't ask why" missions then we'll have Kareem leave. There first issue, therefore, will consist of snippets of all patients' individual therapy sessions, the group meeting for the first time and the introduction of Sallbien. The first issue, will end with one of the patients discovering their new abilities. This way, all of our "pilot episode" bases are covered. Our therapy sessions provide a sufficient exposition, the group meeting show us a taste of the banter/group dynamic we can expect in future issues, and the initial Sallbien effect works as a great cliffhanger.

Now...we can start writing.

The Game We Play Allows Do-Overs...

Yesterday, I looked through our first issue. As I flipped through the pages, my desire to go back and re-write the issue grew ten times stronger. I love what we've done, and while there is a part of me that believes re-writing the issue signifies an inadvertent attempt to "erase" our work, I just feel like it is the best thing we could do.

Before the con--and before all of the tremendous advice we received--I sent our first issue to a few independent publishers. Surprise, Surprise! Not one of them replied. Our first issue simply was not good enough, and while a great second issue shows marked improvement, it will not take away from the fact that Issue # 1, our foundation, is not stable. The more I think of it, as a writer, I wouldn't mind going back and re-doing the first issue millions of times before we nail it. I'm not sure, however, how an artist feels about that.

I remember on the ride back from the con, gears started turning in Daniel's mind. Before he could stop himself, I remember he said "Dude, I already have some new ideas about how Crater should look." Sparks were flying already! What better way to show improvement than to admit our first try was hit-and-miss and go back and do issue #1 the right way?

Blame Gabriel Byrne

For the past few weeks, my Netflix queue has been filled with the HBO series "In Treatment" box set. For those who don't know, "In Treatment" is a series which follows the life of a therapist and his patients. Each episode is a transition-free therapy session consisting of one complex dialogue between Dr. Weston and his patient. As I watch, I can't help but think to myself how realistic (loaded word, I know) the conversations sound. Every stutter, every interruption and cut-off sentence is timed so precisely and as I watch these emotion-filled diatribes, one thing comes to my mind: We need this s**t in our comic.

If you could see the first FIRST comic Daniel and I created--I'll probably put it up soon--you would see how stiff my writing was. Without a doubt, or an ounce of arrogance, I can say my writing has improved; however, I need to do more. My biggest obstacle, I realize, is that I'm afraid of writing too much. I imagine each panel and I fear that any lengthy conversation will blot out all the art. I have to get rid of this mentality, for not only does it result in shallow stories, but it is also a smack in the face to my artist. I need to trust that my artist can lay out a scene properly with room to spare.

Watching "In Treatment" also got me a-thinkin about "The Ward" in its entirety. This story is about mentally, physically, psycho-socially ill young people but, from the start, the concepts of therapy, psychoanalysis and character exploration fade into the background, literally smothered by the dime-a-dozen young superhero motif. (Huh?) What I'm saying is, I think this story should be more about the story than the action.

I'm imagining a longer story where we really explore each patients' life. What do their initial therapy sessions look like? The first issue goes so fast, too fast, to truly explore anything. Indeed, the narrative explains the main idea, but there is no development. If I was a new reader I'd feel a bit rushed. What? We see every character only once and we're supposed to believe they've been together for a while? What happened before the break-in? Why is Kareem/Crater leaving now instead of the first time the Doctor made them break the law for medicine?

Looking back, the story shouldn't begin with Kareem leaving the group. Instead, we should begin the story BEFORE the group is even formed. Our climax, our peripeteia should be the fact that Crater leaves. But there's the problem: that would mean starting over with an all new Issue 1.

This is discouraging and encouraging. We've finally completed an issue, learned valuable lessons, and now I wanna start over again. Surely, we would benefit from doing Issue 1 again, but what happens when we go back and reflect on that issue? We will have learned so much and will probably want to go back re-do the issue yet another time.

Development without progress.

CON/ advace and tips we received

Jabari summed it up pretty well, so theres not much more to say about the con except it was LEGEN-wait for it-DARY! Yes, we did have a bit of a disappointing time in regards to "The Ward" but if anything, this slap in the face has helped us get back on track. As Jabari said, we're taking a temporary break from the comic to hone our fundamentals. On the way back-we were talking back and forth and as pumped about what this crash course in the fundamentals will bring to the comic, as we were when we first started working on the comic. It's a "fresh start" so to speak, in that we now have this chance to come back with something better.


For me, it helped realign my priorities in drawing. I had the wrong mindset and Sanford Greene said it right: "don't try to be a comic writer and a comic artist, be a writer and an artist." With this shift in mindset, I've locked away my comics and I won't look at them for at least a month (even the new ones I just got at the con...) in trying to do a deep cleanse/reboot in my drawing skills.

With this new mission, I will be posting a series of sketches of the basics: human form/proportion/ facial features/architecture/scenery/etc.


So for those of you out there using comic books as your guide to the human form-take it from someone who has done that-and STOP. You will benefit a lot more from life drawing classes and drawing books. Once you feel comfortable with just the human form, then you can stylize it.

Con!!!!!!! Con!!!!!!! (Long One)

Yesterday, Daniel and I went to our first Heroescon in Charlotte. With portfolios in hand, we went hoping to get advice and critiques on our work, and take advantage of last day blowouts (graphic novels for three dollars!?!).

We talked to a lot of people and received tremendous feedback. Not name-dropping, but we got 15-20 minutes of interruption-free face time with some of our heroes in the comic biz. I wish I could say we got signed or that everyone loved our stuff, but I can't.

The artists and writers praised our ambition and our attempt at a unique style, but, almost all of them told us that we simply lack a grasp of the fundamentals. I took down everything they said and on each of my note cards there is something to the effect of "get back to basics", "study", "do your homework" or "you're putting the cart before the horse". It was about 15% praise and 85% constructive criticism, and that's probably a generous estimation.

Their comments focused on properly portraying human anatomy (Daniel) and coherent storytelling through page/panel layout (me). While our style shows ability and talent, it doesn't rest on a foundation of basic artistic rules.

Initially, we were devastated. We knew we weren't ready to be published, but we truly believed we made enough progress where our critiques would consist of minor suggestions. Simply put, we thought we were almost there.

One of the best bit of advice we received came from artist Sanford Greene (check out his latest book, Deadlines Vol. 3) Forgive the name-drop but it comes from a place of appreciation not simply bragging. He talked about how our style lacked basic structure. Comparing us to a musician who cannot read music or a natural brawler who doesn't know how to use his jab to set up his right cross, Sanford told us that our work would improve exponentially if we took time to study the basics. He stressed not trying to be comic book writers and comic book artists; instead work to simply become a better writer and artist.

He also suggested we take a month or two off from comics and simply study. With that in mind, we're going to take--at the very least--a one month break from the Ward and go back into training. The blog isn't shutting down, but we probably won't have any comic art to post for a while. It sucks that we're not there yet, but we're hyped about taking a break and then coming back to make a kick-ass issue 2!