Inside The Ward

Here it is!!

2010-08-09T16:16:00.000-07:00

Script ver 2.0
Here is our second crack at a first issue....well, at least the script.

2.0 Finally Finished!

2010-08-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

We've finally finished the script for Issue 1 2.0. The moment I find out how to upload it without having to type the whole thing into a blog entry, I will post it. The game plan is to have our thumbnails finished in a month, then we start drawing, inking and painting. We hope to have the issue ready for lettering by the end of the year.

While this far exceeds the traditional monthly deadlines, I would rather us take forever to produce a great story. I'm trying to keep in mind that we are both in school and to create something of this magnitude (a completely in-house 30+ page color comic) takes time, but damnit if I don't wish everything was finished now!

For this issue, we really don't much of a strict deadline. We can submit our comic to publishers whenever we are ready and the only convention we have strong intentions of attending (HeroesCon) doesn't happen until next year. With that in mind, our game plan is to send out the new issue and hopefully get some feedback. We'll also self-publish through comixpress. This year--that is to say August 2010-June 2011--I hope we can have at least three issues printed. We have a lot of work ahead of us, but I'm sure we can do it.

Issue 1 2.0 Outline

2010-07-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

Issue 1

-True origins?

-Entire issue devoted to one character's life? Six issues and then the real story?

-Same story arc, but each issue begins with a "mini" origin issue?

No. We cannot take seven issues exclusively for character development, nor should the origins break the flow of the story; that's what profiles are for.

-Where to begin?

-Don't gloss over Kareem's story. Make his development visible. The Dockery family doesn't have to be the center of his story, instead, focus on his therapy sessions.

-Character introduction?

-Many of the older comics I read had a way of blatantly explaining a hero's origin and abilities. Through a long-winded inner-monologue or a stiff conversation, the character's entire being was packaged in a few sentences. It doesn't seem real. Even I fell into that habit. In the first issue, I reveal my character's problems in such an artificial manner (see the argument between Alan and Julie). But I do like the idea of therapy sessions being the window through which we see our characters. All of them? Do we have enough space to see all six individual therapy sessions?

-In many ways, the first issue of a comic is like the pilot episode of a television show. We need to show the goods, therefore, we cannot give our audience filler or an episode without action. In a twist of fate, however, we cannot give EVERYTHING away in the first issue (something I think we might have done) With that said...

-Issue one opens with individual therapy sessions. We begin with Deveroux getting ready for another therapy session. We take a peek at all six sessions whose panels piece together to form one fairly coherent conversation while maintaining a sense of six significantly different characters. During the jigsaw conversation, we introduce the characters, their problems and their distinctive persona lites. The last therapy session we "watch" is Kareem's. His session is longer than the others? Should we place emphasis on him right from the start?

No. Evenly develop all six characters, only revealing Kareem's discomfort in later issues. That means eliminating much, if not all, of Kareem's inner-monologue and focusing on dialogue to tell the story.

-What I'm getting at is I think our story should begin with how the Ward is formed. The following issues will be various missions on which the doctor sends the six. After a number of these "do and don't ask why" missions then we'll have Kareem leave. There first issue, therefore, will consist of snippets of all patients' individual therapy sessions, the group meeting for the first time and the introduction of Sallbien. The first issue, will end with one of the patients discovering their new abilities. This way, all of our "pilot episode" bases are covered. Our therapy sessions provide a sufficient exposition, the group meeting show us a taste of the banter/group dynamic we can expect in future issues, and the initial Sallbien effect works as a great cliffhanger.

Now...we can start writing.

The Game We Play Allows Do-Overs...

2010-07-02T09:13:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I looked through our first issue. As I flipped through the pages, my desire to go back and re-write the issue grew ten times stronger. I love what we've done, and while there is a part of me that believes re-writing the issue signifies an inadvertent attempt to "erase" our work, I just feel like it is the best thing we could do.

Before the con--and before all of the tremendous advice we received--I sent our first issue to a few independent publishers. Surprise, Surprise! Not one of them replied. Our first issue simply was not good enough, and while a great second issue shows marked improvement, it will not take away from the fact that Issue # 1, our foundation, is not stable. The more I think of it, as a writer, I wouldn't mind going back and re-doing the first issue millions of times before we nail it. I'm not sure, however, how an artist feels about that.

I remember on the ride back from the con, gears started turning in Daniel's mind. Before he could stop himself, I remember he said "Dude, I already have some new ideas about how Crater should look." Sparks were flying already! What better way to show improvement than to admit our first try was hit-and-miss and go back and do issue #1 the right way?

Blame Gabriel Byrne

2010-06-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks, my Netflix queue has been filled with the HBO series "In Treatment" box set. For those who don't know, "In Treatment" is a series which follows the life of a therapist and his patients. Each episode is a transition-free therapy session consisting of one complex dialogue between Dr. Weston and his patient. As I watch, I can't help but think to myself how realistic (loaded word, I know) the conversations sound. Every stutter, every interruption and cut-off sentence is timed so precisely and as I watch these emotion-filled diatribes, one thing comes to my mind: We need this s**t in our comic.

If you could see the first FIRST comic Daniel and I created--I'll probably put it up soon--you would see how stiff my writing was. Without a doubt, or an ounce of arrogance, I can say my writing has improved; however, I need to do more. My biggest obstacle, I realize, is that I'm afraid of writing too much. I imagine each panel and I fear that any lengthy conversation will blot out all the art. I have to get rid of this mentality, for not only does it result in shallow stories, but it is also a smack in the face to my artist. I need to trust that my artist can lay out a scene properly with room to spare.

Watching "In Treatment" also got me a-thinkin about "The Ward" in its entirety. This story is about mentally, physically, psycho-socially ill young people but, from the start, the concepts of therapy, psychoanalysis and character exploration fade into the background, literally smothered by the dime-a-dozen young superhero motif. (Huh?) What I'm saying is, I think this story should be more about the story than the action.

I'm imagining a longer story where we really explore each patients' life. What do their initial therapy sessions look like? The first issue goes so fast, too fast, to truly explore anything. Indeed, the narrative explains the main idea, but there is no development. If I was a new reader I'd feel a bit rushed. What? We see every character only once and we're supposed to believe they've been together for a while? What happened before the break-in? Why is Kareem/Crater leaving now instead of the first time the Doctor made them break the law for medicine?

Looking back, the story shouldn't begin with Kareem leaving the group. Instead, we should begin the story BEFORE the group is even formed. Our climax, our peripeteia should be the fact that Crater leaves. But there's the problem: that would mean starting over with an all new Issue 1.

This is discouraging and encouraging. We've finally completed an issue, learned valuable lessons, and now I wanna start over again. Surely, we would benefit from doing Issue 1 again, but what happens when we go back and reflect on that issue? We will have learned so much and will probably want to go back re-do the issue yet another time.

Development without progress.

CON/ advace and tips we received

2010-06-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

Jabari summed it up pretty well, so theres not much more to say about the con except it was LEGEN-wait for it-DARY! Yes, we did have a bit of a disappointing time in regards to "The Ward" but if anything, this slap in the face has helped us get back on track. As Jabari said, we're taking a temporary break from the comic to hone our fundamentals. On the way back-we were talking back and forth and as pumped about what this crash course in the fundamentals will bring to the comic, as we were when we first started working on the comic. It's a "fresh start" so to speak, in that we now have this chance to come back with something better.

For me, it helped realign my priorities in drawing. I had the wrong mindset and Sanford Greene said it right: "don't try to be a comic writer and a comic artist, be a writer and an artist." With this shift in mindset, I've locked away my comics and I won't look at them for at least a month (even the new ones I just got at the con...) in trying to do a deep cleanse/reboot in my drawing skills.

With this new mission, I will be posting a series of sketches of the basics: human form/proportion/ facial features/architecture/scenery/etc.

So for those of you out there using comic books as your guide to the human form-take it from someone who has done that-and STOP. You will benefit a lot more from life drawing classes and drawing books. Once you feel comfortable with just the human form, then you can stylize it.

Con!!!!!!! Con!!!!!!! (Long One)

2010-06-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Daniel and I went to our first Heroescon in Charlotte. With portfolios in hand, we went hoping to get advice and critiques on our work, and take advantage of last day blowouts (graphic novels for three dollars!?!).

We talked to a lot of people and received tremendous feedback. Not name-dropping, but we got 15-20 minutes of interruption-free face time with some of our heroes in the comic biz. I wish I could say we got signed or that everyone loved our stuff, but I can't.

The artists and writers praised our ambition and our attempt at a unique style, but, almost all of them told us that we simply lack a grasp of the fundamentals. I took down everything they said and on each of my note cards there is something to the effect of "get back to basics", "study", "do your homework" or "you're putting the cart before the horse". It was about 15% praise and 85% constructive criticism, and that's probably a generous estimation.

Their comments focused on properly portraying human anatomy (Daniel) and coherent storytelling through page/panel layout (me). While our style shows ability and talent, it doesn't rest on a foundation of basic artistic rules.

Initially, we were devastated. We knew we weren't ready to be published, but we truly believed we made enough progress where our critiques would consist of minor suggestions. Simply put, we thought we were almost there.

One of the best bit of advice we received came from artist Sanford Greene (check out his latest book, Deadlines Vol. 3) Forgive the name-drop but it comes from a place of appreciation not simply bragging. He talked about how our style lacked basic structure. Comparing us to a musician who cannot read music or a natural brawler who doesn't know how to use his jab to set up his right cross, Sanford told us that our work would improve exponentially if we took time to study the basics. He stressed not trying to be comic book writers and comic book artists; instead work to simply become a better writer and artist.

He also suggested we take a month or two off from comics and simply study. With that in mind, we're going to take--at the very least--a one month break from the Ward and go back into training. The blog isn't shutting down, but we probably won't have any comic art to post for a while. It sucks that we're not there yet, but we're hyped about taking a break and then coming back to make a kick-ass issue 2!

Polished Character Profiles-The Ward

2010-06-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

Polished Character Profiles-Dr. Deveroux

2010-06-05T21:23:00.001-07:00

Polished Character Profiles-Conscience

2010-06-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

Polished Character Profiles-Achilles

2010-06-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

Polished Character Profiles-Carbon Copy

2010-06-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

Polished Character Profile-High Rise

2010-06-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

Polished Character Profiles-Octane

2010-06-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

Polished Character Profiles-Crater

2010-06-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Lessons Learned-Use Your Words

2010-06-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't dare scoff at our first real crack a creating a comic. For two fanboys who stopped playing comic's version of Ebert and Roper (RIP Siskel), and actually wrote and drew their own story, I'd say we did very well. The only problem with my self-congratulatory praise, however, is that it relies on a flimsy cop out. Indeed, for a couple of novices, we could have done worse, but should we--can we--hide behind our rookie status. Like the tag line says, we've come so far, but we still have so far to go. We did so many things well in the first issue with regard to visual consistency and a coherent story and plot; however there is room for improvement, namely with regard to dialogue.

Throughout the entire issue, the most obvious art related mistake we make is our very plain backgrounds (something I'm sure Daniel will talk about later). As I read the story, however, I notice that my dialogue is too short. While the narration properly tells the story, the dialogues between characters are too terse, resulting in conversations that last only three or for sentences. I need to elaborate significantly and extend my dialogue.

For example, on page six, we have an argument between Julia and Alan. Julia is tearing down Alan for suggesting that all six patients "are in the same boat" concerning personal problems. Admittedly, I could have done more with this page. I could have extended her rant or added to Alan's words to prevent Julia's statement from sounding like exposition in the form of conversation. I promise, Issue will be better!

Character "Sketches"-Dr. Deveroux

2010-05-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

Dr. Rafael Deveroux
Age: 57

By age 30, Rafael Deveroux was considered one of the greatest therapists/psychiatrists in the world. He's pulled so many out of depression, talked so many out of suicide, that he eventually earned the nickname "the savior". While his life a therapist helped countless numbers of people, Deveroux eventually grew tired of playing the healer.

His arrogance was so great that he began intentionally driving his patients to suicide and chemically manipulating their emotions. Sallbien is the doctor's first attempt at a drug capable of controlling the thoughts and actions of the user, but he needs to test the drug on humans.

Deveroux uses his successful company, Integrity Pharmaceuticals, to find six patients with conditions severe enough to be potential candidates for the Sallbien trials. Dr. Deveroux will stop at nothing to complete his drug, so when Kareem decides to leave the group, the doctor doesn't waste a second to send the others after him. He must stop any information about Sallbien from reaching the news, especially when this is only the first trial.

Character "Sketches"-Conscience

2010-05-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

Grayson Hill aka Conscience
Age: 23
Condition: Speech Impediment (Stuttering)
Sallbien Effect: Telepathy and Mind Control

With his brilliant mine, Grayson Hill should be one of the youngest CEOs in the world. His leadership skills are seconded only by his power of persuasion. Unfortunately, Grayson's debilitating speech impediement has turned the potential tycoon into nothing more than a stuttering yes man. Grayson sign up for the Sallbien trials hoping to finally cure his stutter and gain the respect and success he knows he deserves.

In addition to curing his speech impediment, the Sallbien has also endowed Grayson with telepathic abilites and significant mind control. Like many talented people, Grayson is very arrogant. He knows his is smarter than his teammates, and he believes he's smarter than Dr. Deveroux as well. If Grayson ever stops taking Sallbien, however, his mental voice would become as broken as his physical voice. While he hates the doctor, Grayson will do anything to ensure a steady supply of Sallbien...even turn on his teammates.

Character "Sketches"-Carbon Copy

2010-05-31T20:14:00.000-07:00

Seth/Martin/Jeremy Ellsberg aka Carbon Copy
Age: 20
Condition: Dissociative Identity Disorder
Sallbien Effect: Duplication Abilities

Therapy isn't anything new to Seth Ellsberg. Since he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder in the seventh grade, Seth has had meetings twice a week and medication everyday. Things wer going well until one day, Jeremy, Seth's most aggressive personality, decided to attack his professor. While his professor didn't press charges, Seth was forced to enroll into a new clinical trial run by Integrity Pharmaceuticals, one of the university's major contributors.

The morning after Seth takes his first dose of Sallbien, he wakes up with two other people in his room; they are Jrermy and Martin, his two other personalities. Seth has gained the ability to physically split from his other personalities, turning from one person to three people. The three look identical except for their hair and eye color. Seth is the levelheaded personality stuck between the rough and impulsive Jeremy and the soft-spoken Martin.

Seth has a tough decision to make, for while Jeremy wants to kill Kareem just for the sake of destruction, Martin has a secret crush on our protagonist. It is up to Seth to choose which voice to follow. If he chooses at all.

Character "Sketches"-High Rise

2010-05-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

Dante Nichols aka High Rise
Age: 22
Condition: Depression and Dangerous Body Image and Self-Esteem
Sallbien Effect: Size Manipulation

If Dante Nichols had only one wish, it would be to go back to grade school. That was the last time he was taller than anyone. Since then, Dante has been stuffed in lockers by jocks, turned down by cheerleaders and pittied by everyone in his life.

His depression has become so unbearable that as of late he has entered therapy. His therapist, one Dr. Rafael Deveroux, encourages Dante to join his clinical trial. While on Sallbien, Dante's confidence and self-esteem skyrocket. Along with his newfound confidence, Dante now has the ability to grow up to fifty time his original height.

Since taking the medication, Dante has become that which he once hated. He abuses his powers by picking on everyone and actinge like a typical jock. The only person he respects is Dr. Deveroux, the man he believes saved his life. Dante would die, and kill, for his savior.

Character "Sketches"-Achilles

2010-05-31T19:45:00.000-07:00

Alan Forresster aka Achilles
Age: 24
Condition: Self-Mutilation (Cutting)
Sallbien Effect: Super Strength and Unbreakable Skin

On the surface, Alan Forresster is the All-American boy who parents want their son to become and their daughter to marry. Aside from his long list of high school accomplishments, Alan graduated from college Suma Cum Laude and has landed his dream job as an architect. He's never buckled under pressure and hasn't been the least bit anxious since he was 15 years old.

Coincidently, that is around the same time Alan started cutting himself. It began with a few scratches on his thighs, but Alan has recently started cutting at his arms to find relief. Alan discretley joins the Sallbien trials afraid that is he doesn't get help soon, he'll really lose control of his life.

The medication leaves Alan feeling more relaxed and in control of his life. Due to his athletic history, his Sallbien Effect has manifested itself in the form of super strength. Alan also has the worst situation, for he was endowed with both super strength and unbreakable skin. If the Sallbien ever wears off, Alan would be left cutting at unbreakable skin, never relieving his built up stress. The fear of that scenario alone keeps Alan in line. His sense of right and wrong is as traditional, and as dated, as All-American upbringing. With the right words, anyone smart enough could easily make Alan do anything.

Character "Sketches"-Octane

2010-05-31T19:32:00.000-07:00

Julie Nguyen aka Octane
Age: 20
Condition: ADD
Sallbien Effect: Super Speed (Physical and Cognitive)

Julia "Jules" Nguyen comes from a family of overachievers. She is the daughter of a doctor and lawyer, the sister of a Cal Polytech graduate and the aunt of two Julliard-bound prodigies. Meanwhile, poor Julia has failed out of her third community college in the last two years and can't keep a job to save her life. Her undiagnosed ADD has made her the black sheep of her family and given her the reputation of a spoiled, lazy rich girl. Julia signs up for Dr. Deveroux's project to show her family that, with the right medication, she can be just as successful.

Since taking Sallbien, Julia has gained remarkable focus as well as the power to run at record land speeds. Her academic progress is so fast she has become her parents' favorite child. This is the first time in Julia's life that she's ever felt her parents' love, and she will do anything to keep it that way. Julia's need for her parents' attention and approval makes her easy to manipulate. This is something Dr. Deveroux never forgets. Julia has a spitfire personality. While she acts like a "typical" 20-year old girl, she has the tendency to be more aggressive than any of her teammates.

Character "Sketches"-Crater

2010-05-31T19:21:00.000-07:00

Kareem Dockery aka Crater
Age: 21
Condition: Chronic Depression/Possible Bi-Polar Disorder
Sallbien Effect: Gravitational Manipulation

Kareem, our protagonist, has been in and out of psychiatric wards since he was thirteen years old. His depression and suicide attempts have destroyed every relationship he's ever had. After his last bout with depression, and failed suicide attempt, Kareem's family gave him an ultimatum: either he seeks help, of he's no longer a part of the Dockery family. In hope of turning his life around, Kareem signs up for the Integrity Pharmaceuticals Sallbien clinical trial.

Like every other patient on the drug, Kareem's depression vanishes after just one dose. In its place, however, is the ability to control the gravitational pull and density of everything within a fifty yard radius. After he is forced to kill a group of office workers to get his next dose of Sallbien, Kareem decides to leave the trail. Since leaving the group, Kareem's only goal is to take down Dr. Deveroux and gather all possible information about Sallbien along the way. Kareem is a quiet young man. While he can be sharp and witty at times, most of his thoughts and opinions never leave his mind.

Issue 1-Part Seven

2010-05-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

Issue 1-Part Six

2010-05-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

Issue 1-Part Five

2010-05-31T19:02:00.000-07:00

Issue 1-Part Four

2010-05-31T18:57:00.000-07:00

Issue 1-Part Three

2010-05-31T18:55:00.000-07:00

Issue 1-Part Two

2010-05-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Issue 1-Part One

2010-05-31T18:52:00.000-07:00

Here's the game plan. Whatever we have, whatever we create, we'll post. That means you'll see our scripts, sketches and complete issues the moment it gets scanned and printed. Throughout the process, Daniel and I will post our thoughts on specific pages and concepts dealing with comics. Here is the first issue of The Ward.

What is The Ward? (This is a long one)

2010-05-31T18:15:00.000-07:00

The Ward is a comic that deals with the lives of super powered young people...You know what they say, "there is nothing new under the sun". Here's where we hope to veer off the beaten path:

Six 20-somethings suffer from six different conditions. Each youth has seen their lives ruined by their illness. Their depression has driven away loved ones; their ADD has made them the black sheep of their family; and their speech impediment has betrayed their true intellect. Their last hope is Integrity Pharmaceuticals' clinical trial of a new drug, Sallbien. Created by the narcissistic and manipulative Dr. Deveroux, Sallbien has been found to cure mental and physical illnesses on a broad spectrum.

After one dose, the six see their problems completely cured; in their place, however, are new-found abilities, which are strangely connected to their mental illness. The patient suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder now has duplication abilities; the cutter has unbreakable skin; and the stuttering youth can speak with his mind. While the side effect of the drug are permanent, its curing abilities are not, making it highly addictive. In return for their fix, the patients are forced to steal, manipulate and kill for the good doctor...all except one.

Our protagonist, Kareem Dockery, is sick of having his strings pulled for a medicine that, while curing him of his chronic depression, leaves him a shell of himself. When he leaves the facility, Deveroux sends the other five after him. After trying to reason with his former group members, Kareem realizes that talking will solve nothing. Kareem takes the fight to Integrity Pharmaceuticals in order to get to Deveroux. As a limited series, Kareem eventually kills the doctor, and some of his old teammates. As an ongoing series, however, Kareem continues his search for Dr. Deveroux's primary investor, as well as who really created Sallbien. New patients with new illnesses and powers are introduced and the seemingly endless search for truth continues. Regardless of the format, we will focus on the mood changes Kareem expereinces as he gradually falls back into depression now that he is off his medication, Sallbien. We will also explore the personalities and motivations of each other character througout the book's run.

While other young super hero books address the issues commonly associated with teenagers and people in their early twenties, they tend to do so in a manner similar to a teenage drama. The Ward will provide a more authentic take on such youthful themes as sexual identity, post-adolescent anxiety and drug dependency without relying on stereotypical teenage angst. The Ward will show the lives of metahumans who are no longer young, but are far from old.